Kevin Bronson on March 15th, 2019

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[Editor’s note: The writer seems increasingly bent on sharing internal conversations.]

“Uh-oh, you’re not writing about one of the songs of the summer, are you?”

“Not in those words. That phrase has now been expressly prohibited.”

“What is it, then?”

“It’s ‘U.N.I.,’ the new single from that brother duo Mating Ritual.”

“Oh, the Lawhon brothers. They’re really … tall.”

“Even taller when Ryan’s wearing his cowboy hat.”

“So the song is … an earworm?”

“Ugh, that’s banned, too.”

“What are you going to say, then? Can you just suggest that pool party pop has become its own genre now?”

“Funny you should mention that. Ryan sent a comment about the song. He said:

‘Imagine winter is over. Imagine you’re in a pool with a boozy cocktail when U.N.I. comes on shuffle. The water is cool and the vibe is hot, just how you like your content. You are forced to pause the song halfway through cuz the Postmates driver won’t walk around back. You restart the song. This happens at least three more times. Our Spotify numbers skyrocket. I invest in Postmates. And buy a pool. Just imagine.’”

“Nice, he got ‘hot’ and ‘content’ into that, and the name of the album they’re releasing in May is ‘Hot Content.’ … So do you figure it’s the kind of thing you’d hear at a pool party?”

“I only go to one pool party a year, and I DJ it.”

“Would you spin this song?”

“Probably.”

||| Stream: “U.N.I.”