Kevin Bronson on April 15th, 2010

5

G is for Goldenvoice. G is for all the grousing I heard about the Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival lineup when it was announced three months ago (all but silenced now). G is for all the grumbling about the festival’s new policy to not sell one-day passes (still hearing that). And G is for gee whiz, despite its detractors, the damned thing sold out – the number of three-day passes I heard was 75,000.

Coachella 2010 kicks off Friday with quite possibly its deepest lineup ever, with a smattering of rock stars, a heaping helping of still-relevant veterans, a horde of forward thinkers and enough genre and niche artists to satisfy every palate. Buzz Bands LA will be on hand with a mini-team of contributors to report and react.

Herewith, I break it down, as much for my own sake as yours:

Five Artists I Won’t Miss

‣ Fever Ray (Friday in the Mojave Tent): Karin Dreijer Andersson made my favorite album of 2009. She broods, I brood.
‣ Frightened Rabbit (Saturday at the Outdoor Theatre): The Scottish band’s “The Winter of Mixed Drinks” is my early leader for 2010 album of the year. Until I hear the National’s album, of course.
‣ Dirty Projectors (Saturday in the Mojave Tent): I was late coming ’round to the Brooklyn experimentalists and didn’t catch their Disney Hall show. Making amends.
‣ Sunny Day Real Estate (Sunday at the Outdoor Theatre): My favorite reformed indie band from the ’90s that is playing this festival.
‣ Plastikman (Sunday at the Sahara Tent): Yes, I’m not much of a dance-tent guy but this seems intriguing: Richie Hawtin (aka Plastikman) has released a free iPhone app that will allow the crowd to interact with and participate in the performance. Background on the “Synk” app on his website.

Five People You Are More Excited About Than I

‣ Vampire Weekend (Friday at the Outdoor Theatre): I’m part of that backlash thing.
‣ Street Sweeper Social Club (Friday at the main stage): Rap-rock is still rap-rock, even if it’s made by people I deeply admire.
‣ The xx (Saturday at the Outdoor Theatre): Both times I’ve seen them they’ve bored me to tears. More of a bedroom listening experience for me.
‣ MGMT (Saturday at the Outdoor Theatre): Another iffy proposition live, and having just made it through their lackluster sophomore album, I’ll use that fairly empty time slot to grab dinner.
‣ Pavement (Sunday at the main stage): Revoke my credentials, I always thought they were overrated.

Five People I’d be More Excited About
If They Were With Their Other Band

‣ Them Crooked Vultures (Friday on the main stage)
‣ The Dead Weather (Saturday at the Outdoor Theatre)
‣ Bad Lieutenant (Saturday at the Gobi Tent)
‣ Jonsi (Sunday at the Outdoor Theatre)
‣ Thom Yorke (Sunday at the Outdoor Theatre)

Five Acts I’d Like to Hang Out With in the AARP Tent

You mean there’s no AARP Tent? Maybe there oughta be, the 50-plus crowd is so strong:

‣ Gil-Scott Heron (Friday in the Gobi Tent): Author, poet, musician, legend. He’s to Coachella 2010 what Leonard Cohen was to Coachella ’09.
‣ The Specials (Friday at the main stage): Ska wasn’t big in my household, but there was no more reliable party-starter.
‣ Echo and the Bunnymen (Friday at the Outdoor Theater): Now the Bunnymen were big in my household, and continue to be.
‣ Public Image Ltd. (Friday at the Outdoor Theatre): Not that I feel like John Lydon and I would have much to talk about.
‣ Devo (Saturday in the Mojave Tent): On the other hand, Mark Mothersbaugh and I would have a lot to talk about.

Five Acts (Three With Ampersands) I Wouldn’t Touch With Your Ears

‣ Iglu & Hartly, She & Him, Matt & Kim, Hockey, Passion Pit. Just not my thing.

Five Agonizing Schedule Conflicts

‣ The Cribs (Outdoor Theatre) vs. Yeasayer (Mojave Tent) on Friday afternoon
‣ Public Image Ltd. (main stage) vs. Fever Ray (Mojave Tent) on Friday night
‣ Band of Skulls (Gobi Tent) vs. Beach House (Mojave Tent) on Saturday afternoon
‣ Pavement (main stage) vs. Gary Numan (Mojave Tent) on Sunday night
‣ The Big Pink (Mojave Tent) vs. Plastikman (Sahara Tent) on Sunday night

Five Los Angeles Acts You Probably Heard in Los Angeles
But Are Worth Hearing Here Too

‣ Flying Lotus (Saturday at the Gobi Tent): Genre-mashing beatmaker will turn your ears inside out before you walk next door and see Devo.
‣ Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros (Saturday at the Outdoor Theatre): Alex Ebert and his merry band of folk-rockers are perfect for a festival in the desert.
‣ The Soft Pack (Sunday at the Mojave Tent): No-frills, hard-charging indie rock
‣ Local Natives (Sunday at the Gobi Tent): Was it only 14 months ago that these Silver Lake harmonizers were doing a residency at the Silverlake Lounge?
‣ Mayer Hawthorne (Sunday at the Gobi Tent): Michigan-bred, L.A.-based soul man will be a little out of place playing a mid-afternoon set in a tent, but still …

Five Reasons to Skip Those Silly Afternoon Hipster Parties
and Actually Attend the Festival You Bought a Ticket For

Besides the aforementioned Frightened Rabbit, and the aforementioned L.A. acts, that is:

‣ Jets Overhead (1 p.m. Friday at the Mojave Tent): Sneaky-good Canadians’ album “No Nations” will win you over. A good way to start the festival.
‣ The Avett Brothers (3:20 p.m. Friday at the Outdoor Theatre): I know a couple people who think it’s criminal that they’re playing so early.
‣ Portugal the Man (2:15 p.m. Saturday at the Gobi Tent): I like “American Ghetto,” the new disc from the Alaska-bred, Portland-based quintet.
‣ The Temper Trap (4 p.m. Saturday at the Outdoor Theatre): These Aussies have proven they can bring it.
‣ Owen Pallett (2:25 Sunday at the Outdoor Theater): The violin-wielding Canadian (formerly known as Final Fantasy) this year released a recommended new album “Heartland.”

Five Good Gigs This Weekend If You Aren’t Going to Coachella

Because not everybody has 300 bucks-plus to toss around for a weekend in the desert:

‣ Autolux on Friday at the Bootleg Theater
‣ Andy Clockwise on Friday at the Hotel Cafe
‣ JJ on Saturday at the Echoplex
‣ Smashing Pumpkins at Amoeba and all the Record Store Day festivities on Saturday
‣ The Californian and Big Whup at El Cid on Sunday

Five People With Advice on How to Get by at Coachella

‣ The official rules and regs
‣ KROQ’s Kat Corbett on how to cope
‣ Possibly too cool for me
‣ Classical Geek Theatre’s survival tips
‣ Who the heck is Whitney Port?

Five Albums by Non-Coachella Artists
That I Will Listen to While Stuck in Coachella Traffic

‣ Clem Snide, “The Meat of Life”
‣ Mumford & Sons, “Sigh No More”
‣ Admiral Radley, “I Heart California” (advance)
‣ Delta Spirit, “History From Below” (advance)
‣ Dan Black, “Un”

And If Traffic Is Really Bad, Five More

‣ Everest, “On Approach” (advance)
‣ Minus the Bear, “Omni”
‣ Idlewild, “Post Electric Blues”
‣ Ike Reilly, “Hard Luck Stories”
‣ Gram Rabbit, “Miracles & Metaphors”

Have a great weekend.